Within ReasonMostly
by Aryandir
Summary: In which all the Avengers are texting with each other and then some.
1. Chapter 1

A text-fic...I am not even ashamed.

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**MadHatter: Hey, Bruce...Brucie...Hulkster...Hulkinator. Brucie-Brucey-Bruce!**

_**ZenMaster: Yes Tony?**_

**MadHatter: Hand me the tablet?**

_FreedomFighter: Why can't you get it? It is right in front of you!_

_ArrowHead: Haven't you heard Cap? Movement is overrated._

ShadowWeb: Don't let Fury hear that or you'll be out of a job.

**MadHatter: So is that a no?**

_ArrowHead: Ouch. That stung Nat. Don't you think Cap?_

**_ZenMaster: I'm not even the same building as you._**

_FreedomFighter: Natasha is not wrong, if you chose not to move then you would not be able to do your job._

**MadHatter: And...?**

_ArrowHead: Not you too, Steve!_

**_ZenMaster: That is a no._**

ShadowWeb: Man up.

**MadHatter: Then how about pick up food on the way back? You're leaving already aren't you?**

_ArrowHead: Everyone hates me!_

**_ZenMaster: If your buying. And yes, I have left already._**

_FreedomFighter: We don't hate you!_

**MadHatter: Don't I always.**

_ArrowHead: Filthy, meaningless lies!_

**MadHatter: BRUCE IS DOING A FOOD RUN! WHO WANTS WHAT!?**

_ArrowHead: Shawarma!_

ShadowWeb: Thai.

_FreedomFighter: Pizza please._

**MadHatter: And I want a burger. A big, juicy, cheesy, artery clogging, heart threatening burger.**

_**ZenMaster:...I'm not even going to mention how unhealthy that sounds.**_

**ThunderLord: GREETINGS MY FRIENDS, MY LADY JANE HAS BEEN MOST GRACIOUS IN TEACHING ME HOW TO WORK THIS ENTHRALLING DEVICE IN ORDER FOR ME TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU ALL!**

**MadHatter: Hey, Fabio, are you on caps lock or something?**

**ThunderLord: MAN OF IRON, WHOM IS THIS "FABIO" THAT YOU REFER TO WHENCE SPEAKING TO ME? AND WHAT IS THIS "CAPS LOCK" THAT YOU SPEAK OF?**

_ArrowHead: Caps lock is when you type only in capital letters- usually happens on accident._

**ThunderLord: I SEE. THIS IS NOT AN ERROR MY FRIENDS, MY LADY JANE MENTIONED HOW SPEAKING IN CAPITALS HELPS CENVEY MEANING AND I WOULD NOT HAVE UNDERSTANDING OF SPEACH LOST THROUGH WRITING.**

_FreedomFighter: That is...a very nice thought, I thank you._

**MadHatter: Yeah, yeah- God of Thunder is as sweet as bunnies on Easter. Anyways, Grease Lightning, do you have any plans to return to Asgard soon?**

**ThunderLord: INDEED I DO, MAN OF IRON. I WAS PLANNING ON VISITING MY BROTHER THIS WEEK.**

**MadHatter: Fantastic- how's Bambi doing anyways? Swing by the Tower before you go, I want to give you a phone I've been missing with to see if it has service still on other planets.**

**ThunderLord: LOKI IS FARING AS WELL AS HE CAN GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, I BELIEVE THAT HE MAY BE BOTH BORED AND LONELY THOUGH HE WOULD NEVER ADMIT TO THE LATER. I SHALL BE MOST HONORED TO ASSIST YOU IN SUCH AN ENDEVOR! BUT FOR NOW I MUST BID YOU FAREWELL MY FRIENDS FOR LADY DARCY HAS CALLED US TO MEET TOGETHER TO BREAK OUT NOON FASTING.**

_**ZenMaster: Speaking of food, everything is on the table for who ever wants it.**_

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Alright, incase there's any confusion...

**MadHatter **= Tony

_FreedomFighter_ = Steve

ShadowWeb = Natasha

_ArrowHead_ = Clint

**ThunderLord **= Thor

**ZenMaster** = Bruce


	2. Chapter 2

_**MischiefMage: What is this device and why is Thor shouting at me to converse with his shield brothers and sisters.**_

**MadHatter: Is that a question, Bambi?**

_**MischiefMage: Of course not, a god would not stoop so low. I am demanding an explanation.**_

**MadHatter: Is that so, Princess?**

_**MischiefMage: Yes, my knight. So- MAN OF IRON, WHY IS MY COMMUNICATION DEVICE NOT WORKING? AND WHERE ARE OUR OTHER SHIELD BROTHERS AND SISTE- Go AWAY you moron!**_

**MadHatter: Thor? One, your phone won't work because I haven't fixed it to work off of Earth yet. Two, we're in a meeting right now- I am being glared at by them as we speak. And Rudolf, what just happened?**

_**MischiefMage: The blond idiot stole my...phone and is sulking now I won't let him use mine.**_

**MadHatter: Use yours? Use it how?**

_**MischiefMage: You are a vile, filthy, perverse mortal.**_

**MadHatter: Didn't we settle this back when we put the muzzle and chains on you? Bondage works on you- must be the leather.**

_**MischiefMage: We have, but it does good to remind you when your limited mental capacity is taken into account.**_

**MadHatter: Limited- I am a genius!**

_**MischiefMage: Mayhap by Midgard's standards.**_

**MadHatter: And what of you? You express your wit by getting caught by humans with "limited brain capacities" and an asgardian you call a moron- what a staggering display of brilliance.**

_**MischiefMage: Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.**_

**MadHatter: And you would know a lot of the lowest form of wit, wouldn't you?**

_**MischiefMage: Indeed, I have met you- haven't I?**_

**MadHatter: I thought gods didn't ask questions.**

_FreedomFighter: Tony stop flirting with an enemy!_

**MadHatter: We're not flirting, Cap.**

_**MischiefMage: We would include you.**_

**MadHatter: Make an Oreo out of you.**

_**MischiefMage: We would take care of you.**_

**MadHatter: It's not like we bite.**

_**MischiefMage: Unless you wish us you.**_

_FreedomFighter: Tony get off your phone- we're in the middle of a debrief._

**MadHatter: Will do, cap.**

_**MischiefMage: How red did he get?**_

**MadHatter: Bruce was worried he would faint- later Bambi.**

* * *

Alright, incase there's any confusion...

**MadHatter **= Tony

_FreedomFighter_ = Steve

ShadowWeb = Natasha

_ArrowHead_ = Clint

**ThunderLord **= Thor

**ZenMaster** = Bruce

**_MischiefMage_** = Loki


	3. Chapter 3

**MadHatter: So what does an insane god of mischief do when grounded?**

_**MischiefMage: Plot schemes worthy of a bag of cats.**_

_**ZenMaster: You know about that?**_

_**MischiefMage: I know about a lot of things, "Jolly Green".**_

**MadHatter: Now that's just stalker creepy.**

_**MischiefMage: I aim to please.**_

_**ZenMaster: How do you know?**_

**MadHatter: Your aim is way the fuck off.**

_**MischiefMage: Magic. Is it now? I thought we agreed you were depraved man neck deep in debauchery.**_

_**ZenMaster: If this is how you two are with texting, I would hate to see you guys actually call each other.**_

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_FreedomFighter: Does anyone know why Tony is shouting?_

_ArrowHead: So long as he still communicates with the bastard I don't care what he's doing._

ShadowWeb: Have you heard what he's yelling?

* * *

**_"You are an insolent bag of useless meat,_**

**_Unable to do anything beyond guzzling from your bitch of a mother's teat!"_**

**"So say you, weaver of lies**

**Yet it is I whom remains free,**

**While you cannot, beyond four walls, see**

**Because you are a god fit only for the flies!"**

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**ThunderLord: IS THERE ANY REASON THAT THE MAN OF IRON IS FLYTING WITH MY BROTHER?**

******_ZenMaster: This is all my fault.._**


	4. Chapter 4

**ThunderLord: MY FRIENDS! LOKI HAS ESCAPED ASGARD!**

ShadowWeb: Does he still have the phone?

**ThunderLord: I BELIEVE SO.**

ShadowWeb: Then Stark can track him through it.

_FreedomFighter: Right, Iron Man-_

**MadHatter: No can do spangles. The phone I gave was one of my old ones and making it untraceable is standard procedure for me. **

_ArrowHead: And that didn't occur to you when you handed off the phone!?_

**MadHatter: How would I know that Fabio would give the phone to Bambi?**

_**ZenMaster: Look, it's not Tony's fault- even if he had known that the phone would have gone to Loki, he wouldn't have known that Loki would break out.**_

_FreedomFighter: Bruce is right, it's no use pointing fingers._

**MadHatter: Besides, Jarvis is doing a world wide search for Rudolf already.**

**ThunderLord: MAN OF IRON, YOU ARE AWARE THAT MY BROTHER IS A SHAPE SHIFTER, YES?**

**MadHatter:...I fucking hate magic.**

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_**"Victor? What are your thoughts on kidnapping members of Congress?"**_


End file.
